Flaming Truths.

I feel you.

This one is for everybody that’s been feeling a bit existential lately. Not only do I see you and feel you; secretly, I am you.

Some of you, my little baby blockheads, will purposely choose to allow this segment to go over your fucked-up-shaped-heads. I am fully prepared for that. The thing is, you can lie to me and run from my truths, as they burn you on the ass, all you want. That is a-okay. But you cannot hide from yourself. So I’ll ask this once.

Feeling lost?

I want to truly kick this off by saying, it is completely normal to be lost and confused in life. We were never meant to know all of the answers. Our purpose in being on this floating-rock-in-space (that is swallowing itself whole as we speak) is to find the answers. They will be not handed to you, or spelled out. (though, I’ve seen your IQ score and know you need your hands held through small things like tying your shoes.)

While I tease you for having soup for brains, a little healthy existentialism means that your mind is actually not just that one circus song on an endless loop. You’re taking it all in and analyzing it. That’s what’s giving you the anxiety. All the questions, choices, and situations presented before you, mean enough to you to concern you.

As the world becomes more and more digitalized, the computers become more human, and the humans become robots. Simply wanting to be human becomes more confusing and a little taboo. How are you supposed to get the human experience you always dreamed of when nothing is what it once was? I mean look around. Everything is going to shit. The more people I come across, the more I realize that a lot of us are scared.

scared? I’m not scared of shit.

So you’re telling me that you have it all figured out? Everything is exactly how you want it to be and there is not an ounce of fear, anxiety, or doubt that creeps up on you at night? Yeah, I doubt it. And that is okay. (as someone who hates physical touch, this is the closest I will come to giving you a hug.) Again, if you knew all the answers, what would be the point of it all?

Hate your job? Feel caged up and like you may be in the wrong field? Join the club. Better yet, buckle down, dig deep and find out what would be a bit more palatable to do for a living. And no, not what other people think would be your ideal opportunity, or what’s “most popular”. Something that’s not going to make you want to tongue-down a shot gun at every inconvenience. Or are you scared of change? All I’m saying is, you write the story of your life single handedly. If you’re constantly scared to make that next move, you will always be a caged bird. Often times, that “next move” is the key to all of the locked doors that stand firm before you. Never acquire that key, you will forever remain in the hallway.

Feel like you don’t know who you are? Or maybe you never did? Well, Ducky, that is what we call evolving. We aren’t meant to stay the same. Neither is our environment or experiences. We’re supposed to change, lose ourselves and find ourselves again. A not-so-wise-man recently told me that I need to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable;” and while he may not have been the best messenger, he’s not wrong. If you are always comfortable, you probably are not growing. Growth comes with some upset, hence the term growing pains. One cannot truly evolve without digging into the sour spots, gutting them out and replacing them with what they wish to grow there, going forward. We live in a society where we are conditioned to fit in, when the most beautiful, and human thing we can do is stand out. We all come to our senses about that fact at our own pace (and some of us not at all); and being secure with it takes some….adjusting. You may not “know who you are” right now, but what are you doing to find out?

oh, so you’ve just got it all figured out, huh?

I wish I could say I do, just to rub your brown fucking nose in it. But instead, I will admit that I’m confidently lost. I feel no shame about not having the answers, because I’m collecting them as I go. With every layer of myself that I peel back and study, a new answer to my lingering questions is gifted to me. Silently, I’ve always known who I am. In the past, I’ve let the fear of being perceived for all that I am, lead me to performing otherwise for the world around me. I’ve only recently removed the masks and costumes to show up authentically myself; without regret or fear, at that. Along the way, I’ve learned that the first step is; to show up as you, for you. People will either love you or hate you, but your image of self will never again be tainted by the expectations of others. I mean, none of us truly know what happens after death. If this is your only shot, do you really want to waste it constantly trying to appease everyone but yourself?

I mean, really, think it about it. The people we strive to please do not give a flying fuck about us, or what we choose to do with our lives, in all actuality. As modern day humans, we have to divide ourselves in so many ways in our inner worlds; that we barely have time to peak into the outer world, let-alone those of others. What you decide with your one life, out of billions, is not as significant to others as it should be to you. Act like it. Treat it as such.If you wait and wait for somebody to validate you or your path, you’ll never make it to your destination. Wherever that may be.

I’m truly not trying to scold you or ride your back. I just want you to consider you. This world is not designed to nurture us into our best selves. It is designed to tear us apart and strip us of ourselves. Make us more like each other in the worst ways and less alike in the most beautiful and organic ways. Only we can decide which way to go.

I just want you to want you to remember you have a choice in all this.

talk soon.