Flaming Truths.

Yes, I’m back. Of course you missed me.

Notice anything different…anything new? Like, I don’t know, the fact that we are officially on our own domain? A world of my very own, where my voice echoes in every corner and the truth burns so bright; you just might go blind. I hope you packed your insurance card, first aid kit, inhaler and fire extinguisher. You bet your bottom-fucking-dollar, you’re going to need all of it.

Well, Phoenix, where the hell have you been?

Well, if you must know, my life went to absolute shit. Rather than drown us all in my hot ass tears, I rode the fucking flames through Hell until I got kicked out. I sat in it, I touched the flames barehanded, I listened to the crackle of each flame and deciphered every truth that it shared. Don’t worry, I bottled some up and brought it back for you. I just hope you’re flame retardant.

Hold on, what does that mea–

No time for small talk, its time for Truth. And I know just where to start.

it’s okay to burn it all down.

Disclaimer for all my little pyromaniacs out there: put down the lighter fluid, baby. Auntie’s being figurative today.

Anyway, light the fucking match. It’s only when you burn it all to rubble that you can rebuild things your way. Don’t turn away either. Soak it up, feel the warmth of the flames on your face, be mesmerized by the fire and dance around it.

so, you want me to ruin my life?

Nobody said ruin your life, my stupid little duckling. If you peel the film from your eyes and pay attention, you’ll see that I mean the things that do you no justice. Why do we cling to the things that do us more harm than good? Why do we cling to our old shells when we know that they are too small? If you only burn away the small, insignificant things; they will only be replaced with new small and insignificant things. You want mass impact? You burn it en masse. Think about it, what do people do after a large fire? (I see your wheels spinning, yet, not fast enough.) They start over. Starting over is normal. Life is starting over. If you are afraid to start over, you are afraid of living and you will always be limited.

what if I’m afraid?

“Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.”

Your mind is your root. What you allow to circulate through your roots determines the health of your leaves. Omitting fear throughout your nervous system, will consequently turn you into a ball of fear on the outside as well. What you tell yourself internally determines what you manifests externally. (And no baby, auntie is not referring to the 1111 wish version of manifestation. Don’t piss me off.) It starts with the mind. The death of the brain is the death of the body; do you know the importance of the mind? Clearly not, if you live in fear. Have you ever been so afraid of something to the point of anxiety and then you did it? Did you realize that the fear you felt was merely a game that your mind played with you and everything was fine? Was it actually fun? You have to exercise the mind and truly examine the possibilities, not just the possible negatives. Release the fear and take the leap. You may just land somewhere even better.

you will play the bad guy…and you will play the saint. get comfortable with both.

I am a strong believer that nobody is inherently all good, or all bad. There are absolutely individuals who lean closer to one side or another; but even the worst person you know has good qualities and the most innocent person you know has dark secrets. Both the sinner and the saint live within all of us, it is what you decide to do with them that gets slapped on your societal label.

but being a saint is good, no?

The problem with solely identifying with the saint, is the maintenance of the appearance. When that acrylic smile begins to chip, you’ll be presented with a series of strange looks and questions that match. The saint is not allowed to fuck up. The saint is meant to be pure and full of good at all times. The saint is always to be gracious and kind. The saint does not have bad days or experience burnout; the saint provides good days, experiences and lessons to all they cross paths with. Bearing the cross of the saint is bearing the cross of the good example, all eyes are on you. It is utterly impossible to always be the best version of you and that is the expectation for a saint. Every speck of dirt your enemies -(yes, an enemy can be made even of the “best” person, you little twit) collect on you will consequently be used to be thrown on your name. Go on and respond if you want, watch how fast they demonize you for it and all the others just follow suit.

The problem with the sinner is the stigmatization. I, personally, respect the self-proclaimed sinner more than the self-proclaimed saint. The sinner knows who they are. They have no problem putting on their cloak, being the villain and owning that shit. They wear their actions like a badge of honor. Yes, they did it, yes they said it, yes they’re ready to endure the consequences; who is going to successfully check them? The “unfavorable actions” of the sinner are not for you, me or thy neighbor; they are personal choices and the explanation is not owed to anyone. Not your cup of tea? Move out the way so they can come sit next to me. Everybody hates the sinner because the world has labeled them as “bad” or “damaged”. In a world full of dozing sheep, labels are everything and we are forced to wear the ones given to us. The funny part about those labels, though, is they will never tell the whole story. They will never tell you that there are sinners with bigger hearts, brimming with love and giving spirits, ready to give their all at the drop of a hat; while the “saints” get all the glory because of their favorable labels. Do you know how exhausting it is to be disregarded because you don’t fit the “traditional mold” and actually possess the innate ability to be yourself?

Now that I’ve taught you the ABCs, let’s put it all together. You are both the sinner and the saint, whether you are ready to come to terms with it, or not. You may carry the essence of the saint outwardly while hiding the sinner; or you may be the sinner safeguarding your saint-like qualities for those you deem worthy. You are not all sinner, nor all saint. The line between the two is very thin, it takes nearly nothing to pierce the veil. It is perfectly fine to identify with whichever you feel closer to and there is nothing wrong with being either one. Just know that you cannot fool me.

liars get burned the worst.

you’re not done yet?

Don’t worry sweetie, I’ll turn you loose (for now) after this final message.

I’ll be frank, nobody likes a fucking liar. If it were up to me, we’d burn them at the stake in town square like the Salem Witch Trials. When you lie (and get trapped in your fucking web of lies, that you’re too messy to keep fucking organized) you instill the fact that you are not to be trusted. Remember the boy that cried wolf? What about Chicken Little? People may not say it, but believe me, they know. They know not to trust you. They know to keep you at a distance and to spin you; just as you think you’re spinning them.

What people who live on a pillar of lies don’t realize; is when the village gets tired, they’re going to burn down your pillar with you on it. It will not just be one or two, it’ll be the whole damn town. It is when they all sit down, exchange and compare stories, and reveal all of your lies that you are truly doomed. When it’s time to get grilled, you better have every lie and every minute detail, filed away neatly in your thick ass skull; ready to be presented as if your very life is on the line. They’ll have theirs ironed out, ready to throw the book at you. Dare you to keep up.

Ever been jumped with words? Everybody taking their individual jabs at you in what feels like an endless spiral? It’s called the hot seat, sweetie, your ass is supposed to burn. Maybe you’ll think twice next time. But if I’ve learned one thing from liars; it’s that they never learn.

So, what, I’m supposed to say something like “Godspeed and stop lying,” now? I got one for you.

talk soon.